"What’s your favorite thing about your mother?"
"She loves life more than anyone I’ve ever known. I hope she doesn’t mind me telling you this, but recently she’s had some health problems. And her health got so bad at one point, she called me and said: ‘I was starting to wonder if there was any reason to go on. But then I had the most delicious pear!’"
"Do you remember the happiest moment of your life?"
"Yes. In 1977. My family was sitting by the fireside, during a blizzard, and my mother was reading Great Expectations to me and my father, while we painted a regiment of Blackwatch Highlanders, which were little Scottish soldiers from the Napoleonic wars."
nature vs nurture
For myself, I don’t need for rape to be gender neutral to feel validated as a male survivor. And I certainly don’t need to denigrate women, or to attack feminists, to explain why I was abused by the (male) police, ridiculed by my (male) friends, and marginalized by the (male dominated) society around me. It is precisely because we have been “reduced” to the status of women that other men find us so difficult to deal with. It was obvious to me at the police station that I was held in contempt because I was a victim- feminine, hence perceived as less masculine. Had I been an accused criminal, even a rapist, chances are I would have been treated with more respect, because I would have been seen as more of a man. To cross that line, to become victims of the violence which works to circumscribe the lives of women, marks us somehow as traitors to our gender. Being a male rape survivor means I no longer fit our culture’s neat but spacious definition of masculinity, as one empowered, one always in control. Rather than continue to deny our experience, male survivors need to challenge that definition.
|—||Fred Pelka, “A Male Survivor Breaks His Silence” (via cutevictim)|
ARE YOU READY FOR A GIVEAWAY??!!
Thank-you all for your patience! As I promised, in order to thank you all for your support in following, here is my newest giveaway. Included is:
- Elann Pure Alpaca Fina (2 balls)
- Indigo Moon (2 skeins)
- Countess Ablaze “King Midas”
- 2 random balls from my stash of snowflake & funky
- Calef Road Crafts stitch markers
- 2 tins of tea from David’s Tea
Must be following me (as this is for you, my lovely followers!). Reblogs only count, feel free to reblog more than once, but try not to annoy your own followers :)
GIVEAWAY ENDS: May 19th 2014
We all know that feeling, vending machine